Jealousy is neither healthy nor cute. It is always a reflection of insecurity, self-esteem, and trust issues.
MONTREAL (PRWEB) February 11, 2023
Imagine being forced to undergo a lie detector test every time you come home more than 15 minutes late. Or not being allowed to look at members of the opposite sex in any shape or form, including pictures in a magazine. These are just some of the extreme actions taken by the aptly named - and yes, very real person - known as “Britain’s Most Jealous Woman.” So how jealous is the “normal” average person? A study by researchers at PsychTests finds out.
ANALYZING DATA COLLECTED FROM 6,566 HETEROSEXUAL MEN AND WOMEN WHO TOOK A JEALOUSY TEST, HERE’S WHAT PSYCHTESTS’ RESULTS REVEALED:
> 23% of women and 26% of men believe it is impossible for a man and a woman to be just friends.
> 24% of women believe that men are unable to resist the temptation to cheat, while 14% of men believe that women cannot fight the urge.
> 62% of women and 70% of men believe their partner will remain faithful for the entirety of the relationship.
> 21% of women and 19% of men believe that their partner would leave if the opportunity to date someone “better” (more attractive, more successful) came up.
> 16% of women and 14% of men said they would hire someone to follow their significant other around if he/she was suspected of cheating.
> 15% of women and 13% of men don’t like it when their partner has a night out with friends.
> 11% of women and 12% of men would be jealous and upset if their partner had an erotic dream about a celebrity.
> 56% of women and 55% of men would be jealous and upset if their partner had an erotic dream about a colleague.
WHEN ASKED WHAT THEY WOULD DO IF A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX CALLED AND ASKED TO SPEAK WITH THEIR PARTNER:
> 13% of women and 11% of men said they would stay in the room while their partner talked to this person, and make it evident that they were listening to every word.
> 10% of women and 7% of men would leave the room but eavesdrop.
> 55% of women and 48% of men would stay in the room but pretend to be busy with a task (while still listening in on the conversation).
> 22% of women and 34% of men said that they would be totally unconcerned, and leave the room in order to give their partner some privacy.
WHEN ASKED WHAT THEY WOULD DO IF A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WAS STARING SEDUCTIVELY AT THEIR PARTNER AT A PARTY (AND THEIR PARTNER WAS TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO IT):
> 16% of women and 14% of men said that the seductive stranger wouldn’t bother them.
> 10% of women and 7% of men would simply try to enjoy the party, even if the situation bothered them.
> 54% of women and 45% of men would make it a point to show public affection to their partner as a way of “marking their territory.”
> 12% of women and 13% of men would give the flirty stranger a “keep-your-eyes-to-yourself” look.
> 4% of women and 10% of men would ask the person to stop staring.
> 2% of women and 3% of men would grab their partner and leave.
> 2% of women and 8% of men would confront the stranger and start a physical fight if necessary.
WHEN ASKED WHICH CHARACTERISTIC THEY FIND MOST ANNOYING IN A PARTNER:
> 2% of women and 4% of men said “lack of attractiveness.”
> 4% of women and 8% of men said “social awkwardness.”
> 15% of women and 18% of men said “lack of confidence.”
> 12% of women and 14% of men said “impatience/impulsivity.”
> 36% of women and 27% of men said “unreliability.”
> 31% of women and 29% of men said “dishonesty.”
“There are a lot of misconceptions about jealousy, one being that a little bit of it is okay and even kind of cute,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “But here’s the first reality check: jealousy is neither healthy nor cute. It is always a reflection of insecurity, self-esteem, and trust issues. Moreover, jealousy isn’t something that your partner causes you to feel…you are the one who is reacting in this manner, whether the threat to your relationship is real or not. So, here’s reality check number two: unless your partner gives you a reason to be distrustful, give him or her the benefit of the doubt. And if you do notice your partner blatantly flirting with someone - or worse - then address it directly. Describe your perception of the event, express your feelings, listen to his/her take on things, and ponder the seriousness and the dynamics of the situation. Examine your own emotions and figure out whether their intensity stems from the magnitude of the offense, or if a bit of innocent flirting touches a nerve because of past experiences, leading you to assume the worst. Or is your partner really crossing the line and discounting the behavior, and puts you down because you are calling it out? Hopefully, your partner has enough empathy, compassion and self-control to help you work through your inner turmoil. If not, you have three options: learn to live with it and accept that this will hurt, go to couple’s therapy, or end the relationship.”
“Misconception number two relates to people who want their partner to act a little jealous - the people who say, ‘It would be nice to see my partner show some jealousy or possessiveness, just to show me that he or she cares.’ This brings up reality check number three: if you want your partner to be jealous, what you’re really asking for is more loving attention, more affection, more signs of love. And this is where love languages come in. If you and your partner have mismatching love languages, it can make it harder to read and understand each other’s signals. For example, imagine your love language is Words of Affirmation. This means that you express love verbally: you say ‘I love you’ often, you send sweet texts, and write your partner cute love notes. If your partner has a more action-oriented love language, such as Acts of Service, he or she will show love in an entirely different way - by making your favorite meal, picking up snacks for you at the store, cleaning the snow off your car, or having a warm cup of tea waiting for you on a cold day. Both languages are equally valid ways of showing love, just very different. So, try to be more attuned to your partner’s love language this Valentine’s Day. Love can be a kiss, a card, a box of chocolates, or flowers, but it can also be taking your car in for repairs because you hate going to the mechanic, doing some extra chores for you without being asked or without complaining, being supportive of you pursuing your dream, or taking the kids out so that you can sleep in. You need to be able to pick up the signs and to understand that everyone has their own way of saying ‘I love you,’” concludes Dr. Jerabek.
How jealous are you? Find out by taking a Jealousy Test at:
For heterosexual women: https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2105
For lesbians: https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2103
For heterosexual men: https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2104
For gay men: https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2102
Professional users, such as HR managers, coaches, and therapists, can request a free demo for this or other assessments from ARCH Profile’s extensive battery: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/testdrive_gen_1
To learn more about psychological testing, download this free eBook: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/personality-tests-in-hr
About PsychTests AIM Inc.
PsychTests AIM Inc. originally appeared on the internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has become a pre-eminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resource personnel, therapists and coaches, academics, researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. staff is comprised of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers, and artificial intelligence experts (see ARCHProfile.com).